“Find your tribe, love them hard”

Somewhere in the world, there is a woman who is conflicted in the friendships she keeps. She enjoys the friendships she maintains, but still isn’t fulfilled. She wants more than the typical “what are your plans for the weekend” chat and is longing for something deeper. She wants more than the surface-level acquaintance-type-of-friendship. She wants her tribe…


Your tribe. Your people. The ones who are in your corner to cheer you on, support you and uplift you. A tribe can be defined as “a group of persons having a common character, occupation, or interest” * In other words, your tribe is your community and your support system.

As human beings, we are meant to connect. We are emotional beings who thrive off of connection and support. It makes sense to want this close-knit community of support.

I’m a strong believer of surrounding yourself around like-minded people in order to build your tribe. After all, sharing common interests is one way that connections are made.

Attracting your tribe is a vital piece to success and happiness. Behind every successful person is a strong and selective group of people who are their biggest supporters and loudest cheerleaders. When you’ve got a strong support system in place, you get the encouragement and motivation you need to reach for your biggest dreams.

Your tribe fuels your energies and passions. Remember, they are your loudest cheerleaders. So, when you’ve hit a wall of discouragement or demotivation, these cheerleaders will help you get back off the ground and stand taller than you were before.

Surrounding yourself around a group of driven and inspired individuals also ensures that you are playing the game with your best, most intense effort. You are challenged, and inspired, and motivated to achieve greatness because you all are focused on being your best.

I was listening to a favorite podcast of mine (The Influencer Podcast), and the guest on the show talked about the concept of scarcity versus abundance. To summarize the concept, scarcity is the thought that success is limited, and only the select few will be able to achieve success. However, abundance is the belief that there is unlimited amount of success in the world and anyone who is hungry enough for success can and will achieve it.  I believe in the latter.

There is enough room in this world for all of us to be successful, and my tribe knows and understands this very well.

I reconnected the other night with an old high school friend. We spent two hours in a deep conversation about our journey, motherhood and our dreams for our career. My soul needed that kind of connection. To have another momma share her story and journey through motherhood and the realization that I wasn’t alone in this… I now consider her a part of my tribe.

Mommas, find your tribe. Find those cheerleaders and supporters. Find those people who will be in your corner throughout every stage of your journey—whatever journey you are on. Be selective in your tribe, and when you’ve found your perfect tribe, as the saying goes—”love them hard”.

Related: Friendships are like Chapter Books

*Source: merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tribe


Think of a goal you have or an achievement you are pursuing…Who do you tell first? Who tries to give you excuses for why you CAN’T? Who shares your excitement? Who shows up? Who doesn’t? Who is truly happy for you? Answer these questions to narrow down on your support-system, your tribe. Who is YOUR tribe made up of? Share in the comments below!

If you liked this post, please share with a friend or fellow momma.

Also, join ME on IG Live every Saturday morning at 10:00 am PT/AZ for a virtual coffee date where we can chat more about this and other topics. Hope to see you there! You can access my IG feed HERE.

I Crave Authenticity and Realness

Everyone has a story to tell that’s worth sharing.

At my core- who am I?

For as long as I can remember, I’ve embraced a certain level of privacy and concealment around who I really am. You don’t know a dark side I once had when I contemplated a near death experience. You don’t see the pain behind my eyes when I long for a closer relationship with my family. You haven’t heard of the insecurities I’ve had all my life.

And that’s because I’ve blocked you from it. Like a layer of protection for me….from things like rejection, judgement and transparency.

Like I’ve written before, I’ve kept a lot of my deepest thoughts, secrets and dreams to myself as I put on a façade of who I think people want me to be.

It didn’t help that I grew up in a Corporate environment, where I was taught to keep things “politically correct.” If I wanted to get that next position, or move up the corporate ladder, I had to play the corporate game. To hell with that….

But, let me tell you—there is a certain sense of freedom that comes with discovering your story and telling it to the world. It’s like I’m ripping off a layer of disguise that I’ve assumed for over 30 years to reveal my stripped core. That’s where the vulnerability and truth live. Because stripping down to the inner core of my being is where you’ll find authenticity.

Next week, I’ll publicly tell my story to a room full of strangers. It will move me one step towards my authentic truth. However, even thinking about sharing my story makes me nervous. I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t say that I am timid about sharing a personal side of me that most do not know.

I’m scared of showing that vulnerability. Because part of me still thinks that vulnerability is weakness. If you hear and know me at my inner core, you’d be able to spot the points of weakness.

Instead, next week I will take that side of me that still thinks vulnerability is weakness and force myself to believe that it can be my superpower. Because when I’m vulnerable and transparent with you, I’ll be more real and human.

Over the last few months, I’ve reflected on who I am at my inner core. At the risk of being vulnerable, I am sharing a piece of what I’ve been able to discovered about myself so far…

At my core- I am a woman who seeks validation and emotional connection. I need to feel wanted, valued, and appreciated and if I don’t feel that from someone, I tend to shut down physically and emotionally. Despite all of that, I’m also loyal as hell and will go to the ends of the earth to protect the ones I love most.

At the end of the day, we all we all crave authenticity. Realness. And connection with others who have found their inner core.

The work is far from being done, but at least I’m one step closer to my inner core than I was yesterday.


Stripped down to your inner core, WHO ARE YOU? I encourage YOU to begin the feeling of freedom from any constraints that hold you back from being your authentic self. Who are you? Comment below to share your thoughts!

If you liked this post, SHARE with a friend or fellow momma who needs authenticity too!


IF YOU ARE IN THE PHOENIX AREA: Come join us at a Monthly Motivational Mixer hosted by my good friend, John Vasquez with JVImpacts as Candice opens up about her story and vision behind A Musing Momma. Thursday March 29th at Helton Brewing Company. Details and RSVP here.

Negative Self-Talk and Comparison…

If I listened to every negative thought that crossed my mind on a daily basis, I would never get any closer to following my dreams and passions. Cliché, I know—but so very true. Today’s post is about the negative self-talk that we as mommas do to ourselves daily.

Here’s an example. Scrolling through your social media feeds, what thoughts are crossing your mind as you see another momma’s selfie or “picture perfect” life she seems to have? If it’s not a positive thought, then where does that negativity come from?  Comparison is going to prevent us from making progress in our world today. To be upfront with you—I find myself struggling with comparison as well. It’s something we all do.

Negative self-talk, self-doubt, and insecurities can flood our thoughts and it can be very dangerous. It will prevent us from following our dreams, testing an idea, or exploring different things on a journey to purpose and fulfillment.

A more personal example: When asked about my Master’s degree I am currently pursuing, I will minimize it by mentioning that I did the majority of it online (almost as if saying that it was too easy to do).  When I speak up during a meeting, I find myself apologizing for my thoughts. Or, even as I am working on this blog, I sometimes question whether or not I am even making a difference. The conversations my mind is having with me is one that compares my journey to others. Comparison and negative self-talk.

Why do we all feel the need to minimize our greatness? Imagine a world where we all KNEW from every fiber of our being, just how VALUABLE we are. How much more light would shine on our world? How much more happiness and fulfillment might we have and embrace?

Instead of comparing ourselves with others, we could uplift and encourage. Think about how much more comfortable we’d be with taking risks without the fear of rejection, failure or ridicule.

It all starts with our thoughts. Our thoughts are powerful and our thoughts can propel us to our greatness. Today I will start on my first step of eliminating that comparison and negative self-talk. I’m going to be conscious of my thoughts and catch myself in the middle of a negative conversation my mind might want me to have.

I’ll catch those negative conversations and infuse positivity. Turn “I can’t do THAT” to “How can I achieve that?” Change “I’m not as good as…” to “I’m THE best version of myself, and here’s why…”  


What are some tips and tricks of how you CATCH your negative self-talk? How do you keep yourself from the monster of comparison? Share in the comments below!

If you liked this post, please share with a fellow momma or friend!

Admitting my mistakes

 

My precious daughter. Bless your energy, compassion, curiosity and tenderheartedness. I feel your watchful eyes—eager to replicate everything that I do. You see me put on makeup, so you beg to “pee-tend” to put on your makeup. Coffee in the morning? You are right there with me, with your chocolate milk and plastic coffee cup to enjoy your “coffee” alongside mine. Even your mannerisms are all too familiar (the way you dance and sing at the top of your lungs after Sunday morning breakfast). I know you see me. I’m aware of your focused observations.

This position as your momma bears great responsibility. As I’ve written before, you are constantly holding a mirror and showing me my reflection—good or bad.  And although I’m up for the challenge, I feel compelled to share with you that I don’t always know what I’m doing….

I’m only human. I make mistakes. I will make more mistakes. I’m still figuring this parenting thing out, and I’m bound to never know all of the answers.

I will lose my temper and yell. Although I will try hardest not to, sometimes I may not know how to communicate my message without yelling.

I will say “NO,” when I should really give you the ability to choose. Most of the time, when I decline a request from you, it’s for a good reason. But—I may miss an opportunity for a teachable moment when I continue to make all of your decisions for you.

I will dismiss you too quickly. You might ask me 25 times to watch you twirl your dress and I’m too busy trying to cook dinner that I dismiss you when I don’t mean to. As you get older, I might fail to cherish those moments that you are coming to me…Please don’t stop coming to me. No matter what.

I will forget you can hear me. My words might fail me and I might slip up and use the wrong word without remembering that you are right there listening to me.

I’ll also forget you can see me. That man who cut me off on the freeway? I’ll forget that you are in the backseat watching me and seeing how I’ll react to the roadrage.

I won’t always be accepting up front. Like when you meet a boy that you want to bring home, or the friends who I think you shouldn’t hang out with. I will have an opinion on them, and I might forget that you are your own person who should be making your own decisions. I’m going to have a hard time with that….

There will be a day when we don’t see eye-to-eye, and you may feel like you could do this whole parenting thing better than me. As my sister so wisely put it—I can only HOPE you will be better than me. That’s my goal in life—for you to learn from my mistakes and become the best version of yourself that you can. Please always remember that I have and will always love you every day of my life. I am not always the perfect example, but you can bet I am constantly trying my damn hardest to be the BEST mother to you. I’m only human, and I will make mistakes. But I will also learn from them with the help of your constant forgiveness.

 

 

Start here. What’s in it for you?

 

As I’m on the journey of self-reflection and intention, a couple of questions continue to cross my mind.

  1.       Am I creating content worth sharing?
  2.       Is there a clear message around WHY you should follow and read?

Since I haven’t formally made my intentions clear, allow me to explain…

It is my intention to share authentic, real things with you in the hopes of inspiring you. A wife and momma first, an influencer second—my goal is to inspire and connect people from all kinds of industries, businesses, and communities.

I want give a space for creativity and collaboration. We’ve all got thoughts and ideas in our minds…Let this be our space….I’ll start the conversation, and you’re encouraged to participate in the dialogue. Your voice matters. This is the space for your voice to be heard. I want to give an outlet for other working moms and dads to promote themselves, find support and just be able to connect with other like-minded individuals.

I remember as a new working mom, I found solace in the community of other working moms via social media groups and parenting blogs. It is my hope that this becomes your place to connect and not feel so alone.

Because, let’s be honest….sometimes life puts you through some crazy things and you are left to think: “Is it just me? Am I the only one who is struggling with this? Everyone else has it all figured out.”

My friends, they don’t. No one has it all figured out, and this blog is meant to pull back the curtain to expose the realness of life as a working parent.

It occurred to me the other day that I haven’t clearly laid out my intentions of this project. Rather, what’s in it for you? So, to summarize:

  • Connection and support
  • Parenting, Professional, Relational, Emotional advice
  • Collaboration
  • Authenticity
  • Community

I do hope you’ll join and connect with me! Let’s start a conversation….

You liking the content so far? Share your thoughts below in the comments!

Mirror, mirror on the wall

 

If I’m honest, I struggle with this every day.

I’m in a constant battle with myself when it comes to my ability to live up to my full potential as a mother. I’m constantly assessing and reassessing myself and often times feeling like I fall short.

Every decision, every action, everything that I do is done with one thing in mind: my daughter. I see her watching me and attempting to be like me….but is that what I want? My insecurities, my aggressiveness, my strong will—do I want her to have those qualities?

Motherhood for me has been like a mirror—showing me a reflection of who I am as a mother, wife, daughter, and person. It’s like my daughter is constantly holding up the mirror, and I can’t help but look. Every time.

Let me tell you, parenthood isn’t for the weak of heart. As an individual who practices self-awareness and reflection often, even the best parenting books and journaling techniques couldn’t prepare me for what I see in the mirror.

This weekend, that reflection showed me a person who needs to practice more patience. It was a long day, and E wasn’t listening to me. Everything I asked her to do had to be said 3 or 4 times. It took us 25 minutes to get shoes on and leave the house because of E’s strong will (See? She got it from me). In a moment of weakness, I yelled. “PUT YOUR SHOES ON SO WE CAN GO!” I hollered this as I slammed my purse down on the counter top. In that moment, tears welled up in her sweet eyes as she put her head down and slid on her shoes. Reflection shown. And I didn’t like it.

…My sweet girl. Even in my ugliest moments, outrage and all—she still finds a place in her heart to forgive me. Every time. Because, after I realized what the mirror was showing me about myself—I kneeled down next to her and said, “I am so sorry. I am not showing you a good example of patience, and I will do better. Do you forgive me?” She did.

So, although the mirror shows me just how ugly I can be….it also shows me that I have an opportunity to change it. This weekend, I changed how I was to be seen in that reflection. To practice more patience….and forgiveness like my daughter so eagerly does every time I fall short.

This motherhood thing is hard. And I’m working every day at being better than I was the day before. I don’t think I’ll ever master it, but I’ll sure as heck try my hardest with every reflection that I see. Mommas, be aware of your mirror and what the reflection says back to you.

How do you cope with feeling like you fall short? Share some tips on how you change that reflection when you don’t like what you see. Comment below!