Women are beautiful, better, and stronger together

During my time climbing the corporate ladder, I had my fair share of run-ins with other women who were catty, judgmental and two-faced. At least that’s how I viewed them a few years ago, when I was vying for a promotion in the company I worked for.

I remember hearing back from co-workers that a particular person was running my name through the dirt and sharing with others how unfit I was for the promotion. The crazy part is that this person was in fact someone who I had a lot of respect for and considered a friend at the time.

Despite it all, I got the promotion and still continued to be cordial with that woman for several years after.

The truth is–most women don’t support other women. And it pains me to recognize that I’ve fallen victim to this as well in my own life experiences.

Women are catty to each other. Women talk behind each other’s backs. Women are two-faced.

At least that’s what I thought up until the beginning of this year when I embarked on my journey with A Musing Momma.

You see, there is a movement of women empowerment out there striving to break the cycle of women versus women mentalities. We as women are magnificent and powerful, however we’re more powerful when we are working together.

There are two trending hashtags that I came across earlier this year– #communityovercompetition and #womensupportingwomen. To me, these phrases mean so much more to me than a trendy slogan you could put in the caption of your photo.

For me, community over competition is exactly what I envisioned when I set out to make connections with other mommas with A Musing Momma.

I strongly believe that there is enough success in the world to go around. That one person’s success doesn’t mean there is less for you. The possibilities are truly endless, and it makes sense for us women to lock arms and help each other up.

Women supporting other women is beautiful. It shows the confidence you have in your abilities to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

When I see women bashing other women, it’s more of a reflection of them than anything else. These women are battling things that no one can see, and they are projecting fears and insecurities out on others to make them feel more powerful.

Change is on the horizon. Women are waking up to the fact that we are better, stronger and more beautiful together.

Credit: Nikki Boether @charlietakesphx

Cheer on that momma who just breastfed her child for the first time. Give a high-five to the woman who is slaying in her career. Recognize that momma who is balancing everything so well from what you can see. When we can support and encourage each other, we empower one another.


What does community over competition OR women supporting women mean to YOU? Share some thoughts below! Follow and TAG @amusingmomma in any thoughts you have related to this post and share this with a friend today!

Becoming WHOLE means uncovering some hidden truths

One day in the near future, I will stand in my truth and proclaim that “I am worthy. I am enough.” The road to that day will be paved with challenges, triumphs, self-realizations and truths that I have to be willing to acknowledge and embrace. It’s going to take courage and belief in myself that I am doing what is best for me. I have to trust myself and trust the process, because Lord knows there will be challenges.

How can I expect to give my daughter the best of me if I myself am not whole? It’s a question that I was afraid to ask myself for the first 4 years of my daughter’s life.

Somewhere deep inside of my soul, was a longing to resolve anything that might stand in the way of giving my daughter 100% all of me.

The thing is, I had no idea what those unresolved matters were…but they were there. Like a shell’s hard layer, the unresolved issues were just one layer below.

They were there every time I refused to look myself in the mirror and love the woman I had become. Curves on my body that weren’t always there, wrinkles that would appear out of nowhere and a smile that I had a hard time accepting. It was there when I had second guesses about my own happiness and worth in my marriage with her father. It was there when I would cry myself to sleep in the middle of the night because I felt alone and dark. And it was also there when I would feel panic about my daughter finding out the ugly truth of my past…Those unresolved issues where there all along, but I was unwilling to accept them.

Instead, I spent the first 4 years of my daughter’s life ignoring the unresolved issues in my life. Blissfully unaware of the pain and ugliness that lived inside my soul.

Until the moment I realized that I was broken.

It was the night I crawled into bed with my daughter after an argument with my husband. I was upset. For so long, I thought the unhappiness came from my husband’s inability to show me appreciation. But, laying in the bed with my daughter and crying to her—I realized that it wasn’t my husband’s inability—rather MY own inability to love myself. Because, here I was crying on my four-year-old daughter’s shoulder—seeing the look of concern and worry in her little eyes while she was trying to console ME. I was broken. My daughter could see it…and that night—I could see it.

That was the night that I began the ascent into my awakening. My journey to finding out what was bothering ME. And why was I so upset and angry. I took pen to paper and began writing….

I started with my story. From the very beginning… and unleashed years of regret, anger, hurt, and pain that I had been ignoring since my early childhood.

It was empowering to recognize the feeling and emotions that I had not named before. I dove into hours of books, podcasts and genuine conversations to help me begin to become whole again. To fix those broken parts of me that were angry and upset all the time…

Since that night, I keep talking about my discovery of truths and emotional healing. When I was able to face my past and have the courage to question why I was hurt—a rush of relief washed over me.

I’m willing to bet we all have things that we need to heal from. Past hurts, heartbreaks and experiences that we try to hide from the outside world.

However, the moment you step into your truth and face your deepest soul aches is ultimately what will set you free and enable you to heal…thus, becoming whole.

Until then, I will keep writing…and soul searching…and learning from my past mistakes. And looking forward to the day where I can say and believe with all my heart that “I am enough.”


What does becoming WHOLE mean to YOU? Share some thoughts in the comments below. If you enjoyed this post, please share with a friend to help spread this message. 

A formal proclamation of perfection

A wise friend gave me an honest reflection the other night. “You are liked because you strive to be perfect…” It was a simple remark said to me that sent me knee-deep in contemplation. With perfection comes a dilemma— how can you strive to be “perfect” and authentic at the same time? Perfection is the very concept that I aim to destroy in our world of competition, comparison and vanity.

Thus, a real self-reflection commenced. I spent the entire next day reflecting on how I have spent my entire life striving to be perfect. I started with my morning drive to work…

“Candice, why the hell do you strive to be perfect?”

In all honesty, my friend was right. I strive for perfection in everything that I do. I recently planned an event for Project: Passion and gave myself a jaw ache with all the stress and anxiety I had during the last two weeks leading up to the event (apparently, I clench my teeth when I’m under a ton of stress, my dentist confirmed).

So, the question remains—WHY do I strive to be perfect? And how does that impact how I am as a mother?

If I trace my history back to childhood, I remember loving the spotlight. Whether it be on stage during a singing performance or a speech that I was elected to give in front of an audience. I thrived off all eyes being on me….why? Because I was good at it.

My ah-ha moment the other night was realizing that feedback has a lot to do with perfection.

Those who know me well know that I love asking for feedback. My ah-ha moment the other night was realizing that feedback has a lot to do with perfection. You see, when I feel confident that I’ve nailed a presentation or speech—I will intentionally ask for feedback because I’ll get validation of what I did well and what I didn’t—I use for the NEXT time I present, hence—striving for perfection.

So, let this be my formal proclamation—I am a perfectionist. And I still care about what other people think of me.

The next question—How will this affect my parenting?

If how act and treat others is a projection of how I view myself, then where will perfection shape how my daughter views herself? Will perfection become my kryptonite?

Perhaps, the awareness of my perfection tendencies is all that is needed to break the magic of the kryptonite. Imagine being able to look back on this moment when my daughter is older and making mistakes where I can pause and realize that mistakes are what make us human. What if this realization of perfection is exactly what was needed for me to stop it in it’s tracks?

I won’t know until the moment comes. Until then, I’ll keep calling myself out. And celebrating all of my flaws and missteps. I’ll embrace the not-so-perfect moments and revel in all it’s glory. To prove it, this post contains several “non-perfect” pictures taken recently. Embracing authenticity as I destroy the notion of perfection.  Maybe my daughter will catch on…


How do YOU handle the idea of perfection? Do YOU see it coming up in your daily life? How can we all learn to be more authentic and less perfect? Share some thoughts in the comments!

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Be careful=be fearful?

 

Two words that sparked this topic: “Be careful!”

We got E a pink Power Wheels Jeep for her fourth birthday. She was so excited to jump in the driver’s seat and have all of the control as a driver. Zooming all around ours and our neighbor’s front yard, E was having the time of her life. We took her on an evening ride around the neighborhood, and as she drove on the sidewalk—I found myself saying “be careful!…not too fast….watch where you’re going…” the entire time.

You may not think it’s much of a big deal, but what I realized on this evening drive is that I may be subconsciously training my daughter to be fearful of the bad things that could happen in the world.

Because when I’m constantly saying, “be careful,” what E might be hearing is “be fearful.”

We have a very important job as mothers. To protect our children from harm and prepare them for a world where they can be self-sufficient. We also teach them to be productive members of society, with a strong moral compass. But, what if my fears for the worst end up doing more harm than good?

We live in a time where the news is saturated with tragic events. It breaks my heart to acknowledge that I brought my daughter into a world where safe places are never guaranteed. There is stranger danger, social media dangers, and mass murders happening often and I constantly live in fear of the unthinkable.

But, then I think about my daughter… So untainted to all of the ugliness. Pure and innocent…and oh so very fearless. Why should MY fears hold HER back from exploring a world of endless possibilities?

So, while “be careful” might seem like a harmless cautionary request—when I consider the potential it might have to E’s curiosity and tenacity—I feel a pang of guilt because I want to put her in a bubble and keep her safe her whole life.

You hear about a deep love that you’ll find when you have your first child. You hear stories of this instant, deep and pure love that you can’t ever imagine until the first few moments you are joined with your firstborn.

What you don’t hear about is the constant FEAR you will have as a mother. Fear for the uncontrollable world that we live in. Fear of the unthinkable and unimaginable. Fear of things, events and situations that you won’t be able to protect your child from. Fear of things that I am to scared to type out in words.

I want to let go of that fear. I believe that despite all of the heartbreak and tragedy, the world is really filled with happiness, hope and love if you know where to look for it…

That’s what I’ll teach E to do–look for the love in a world of hate. Look for the light in a world full of darkness. And search for positivity when the majority wants to focus on the negative. It’s a delicate balance of guidance and teaching E about the dangers the world could have, but also encourage her to be fearless in her dreams and passions.

As for me, I’ll have to follow my own teachings and embrace the uncertainty that life presents us with. It puts a whole new perspective on “living each moment to the fullest”.


What are some of YOUR fears as a momma? How do YOU overcome your own fear to let your child truly be fearless? Share your thoughts in the comments!

 

 

My first time meditating….

I was sitting cross-legged on the floor in a dark-room with four women who I had never met before. Barefoot with my eyes closed and mind focused on breathing… I was meditating…I was in my zone.

“Take three deep breaths…. When you are breathing out, you are releasing all of the tension and negative energy that came with you today…”

PC: Mel Bosna Storyteller

Two years ago, I would have never been comfortable with this situation. Heck, even 5 months ago—I wouldn’t have pictured myself here— in the company of women who have mediated for years. I literally knew NO ONE, and here I was—being vulnerable and open to aligning with my inner peace.

Since the start of January, I’ve set out to put myself in more situations like this one. Completely open to the possibility of getting to know my real self . I’ve met people, experienced opportunities, and explored ways to take my dream and PASSION to the next level.

I couldn’t have imagined how FREEING this journey would become. Because, in the back of my mind—I’ve always wanted to practice meditation, but I never actually pursued it until the right person came along (That’s YOU, Sarah) to empower me to give it a try. Never in a million years would I have imagined putting myself into situations where I walk into an event, with not one familiar face and handle myself well. Am I uncomfortable at times? YES. But does that stop me? hell no.

Then it happened…

There was this moment during the session last night where I realized I was in the right place at the right time.

I was asked to visualize a person—living or dead. The person I visualized was my daughter. Focusing on my daughter, I was then told to imagine a rose that is absorbing all of the energy that I reflect onto her. Expectations, wishes, regrets and other things that I subconsciously reflect onto her. It was in that moment that I found myself fighting back tears. Struggling to keep myself composed in an effort to mask my real emotions from these strangers who surrounded me in that dark room.

PC: Mel Bosna Storyteller

In that moment, friends—it clicked. My expectations, my wishes, my regrets that I have belong to me and me only.

Although I wish the BEST for my daughter and want nothing more than her experiencing true happiness—the fact of the matter is that she will experience her own reality. She is taking up space in her own world, and it is my job to help her embrace the true person she is and will become.

And all of this was possible thanks to fate and intention. I unknowingly manifested last night’s experience. Just as I have been manifesting all of the experiences I’ve had over the last 5 months.

My journey began on January 1, 2018 with the sole purpose of creating opportunities for myself (personally and professionally)–allowing an organic community to form where women are seeking support, connection, growth and development. A Musing Momma has become the catapult for much of my soul searching and community growth.

For those of you who have been following along, THANK YOU. If you are new to this journey, welcome. My mission is to inspire you to embrace YOUR worth, CHASE your passion and find your community. THIS is your community. Let’s support and uplift one another, and I will happily be your guide during the journey.


For more information on this AMAZING meditation session and other classes available, check out Empower Wellness Studio AZ, follow the incredible Sarah O’Conner for all things Empower Wellness. The meditation was led by Adriana. Give her a follow too!

Do YOU meditate? How do you carve out some time for YOURSELF despite your busy schedule balancing work and home life? Share in the comments below!

Have YOU joined the tribe?! Sign up HERE for exclusive updates, giveaways and event invites!

Mark your calendar- Project: Passion Launch Party on June 9th hosted by Candice with A Musing Momma. Sign up HERE for event details.

LASTLY, if this post inspired YOU—please share this with ONE friend today!

I Crave Authenticity and Realness

Everyone has a story to tell that’s worth sharing.

At my core- who am I?

For as long as I can remember, I’ve embraced a certain level of privacy and concealment around who I really am. You don’t know a dark side I once had when I contemplated a near death experience. You don’t see the pain behind my eyes when I long for a closer relationship with my family. You haven’t heard of the insecurities I’ve had all my life.

And that’s because I’ve blocked you from it. Like a layer of protection for me….from things like rejection, judgement and transparency.

Like I’ve written before, I’ve kept a lot of my deepest thoughts, secrets and dreams to myself as I put on a façade of who I think people want me to be.

It didn’t help that I grew up in a Corporate environment, where I was taught to keep things “politically correct.” If I wanted to get that next position, or move up the corporate ladder, I had to play the corporate game. To hell with that….

But, let me tell you—there is a certain sense of freedom that comes with discovering your story and telling it to the world. It’s like I’m ripping off a layer of disguise that I’ve assumed for over 30 years to reveal my stripped core. That’s where the vulnerability and truth live. Because stripping down to the inner core of my being is where you’ll find authenticity.

Next week, I’ll publicly tell my story to a room full of strangers. It will move me one step towards my authentic truth. However, even thinking about sharing my story makes me nervous. I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t say that I am timid about sharing a personal side of me that most do not know.

I’m scared of showing that vulnerability. Because part of me still thinks that vulnerability is weakness. If you hear and know me at my inner core, you’d be able to spot the points of weakness.

Instead, next week I will take that side of me that still thinks vulnerability is weakness and force myself to believe that it can be my superpower. Because when I’m vulnerable and transparent with you, I’ll be more real and human.

Over the last few months, I’ve reflected on who I am at my inner core. At the risk of being vulnerable, I am sharing a piece of what I’ve been able to discovered about myself so far…

At my core- I am a woman who seeks validation and emotional connection. I need to feel wanted, valued, and appreciated and if I don’t feel that from someone, I tend to shut down physically and emotionally. Despite all of that, I’m also loyal as hell and will go to the ends of the earth to protect the ones I love most.

At the end of the day, we all we all crave authenticity. Realness. And connection with others who have found their inner core.

The work is far from being done, but at least I’m one step closer to my inner core than I was yesterday.


Stripped down to your inner core, WHO ARE YOU? I encourage YOU to begin the feeling of freedom from any constraints that hold you back from being your authentic self. Who are you? Comment below to share your thoughts!

If you liked this post, SHARE with a friend or fellow momma who needs authenticity too!


IF YOU ARE IN THE PHOENIX AREA: Come join us at a Monthly Motivational Mixer hosted by my good friend, John Vasquez with JVImpacts as Candice opens up about her story and vision behind A Musing Momma. Thursday March 29th at Helton Brewing Company. Details and RSVP here.