Be careful=be fearful?

 

Two words that sparked this topic: “Be careful!”

We got E a pink Power Wheels Jeep for her fourth birthday. She was so excited to jump in the driver’s seat and have all of the control as a driver. Zooming all around ours and our neighbor’s front yard, E was having the time of her life. We took her on an evening ride around the neighborhood, and as she drove on the sidewalk—I found myself saying “be careful!…not too fast….watch where you’re going…” the entire time.

You may not think it’s much of a big deal, but what I realized on this evening drive is that I may be subconsciously training my daughter to be fearful of the bad things that could happen in the world.

Because when I’m constantly saying, “be careful,” what E might be hearing is “be fearful.”

We have a very important job as mothers. To protect our children from harm and prepare them for a world where they can be self-sufficient. We also teach them to be productive members of society, with a strong moral compass. But, what if my fears for the worst end up doing more harm than good?

We live in a time where the news is saturated with tragic events. It breaks my heart to acknowledge that I brought my daughter into a world where safe places are never guaranteed. There is stranger danger, social media dangers, and mass murders happening often and I constantly live in fear of the unthinkable.

But, then I think about my daughter… So untainted to all of the ugliness. Pure and innocent…and oh so very fearless. Why should MY fears hold HER back from exploring a world of endless possibilities?

So, while “be careful” might seem like a harmless cautionary request—when I consider the potential it might have to E’s curiosity and tenacity—I feel a pang of guilt because I want to put her in a bubble and keep her safe her whole life.

You hear about a deep love that you’ll find when you have your first child. You hear stories of this instant, deep and pure love that you can’t ever imagine until the first few moments you are joined with your firstborn.

What you don’t hear about is the constant FEAR you will have as a mother. Fear for the uncontrollable world that we live in. Fear of the unthinkable and unimaginable. Fear of things, events and situations that you won’t be able to protect your child from. Fear of things that I am to scared to type out in words.

I want to let go of that fear. I believe that despite all of the heartbreak and tragedy, the world is really filled with happiness, hope and love if you know where to look for it…

That’s what I’ll teach E to do–look for the love in a world of hate. Look for the light in a world full of darkness. And search for positivity when the majority wants to focus on the negative. It’s a delicate balance of guidance and teaching E about the dangers the world could have, but also encourage her to be fearless in her dreams and passions.

As for me, I’ll have to follow my own teachings and embrace the uncertainty that life presents us with. It puts a whole new perspective on “living each moment to the fullest”.


What are some of YOUR fears as a momma? How do YOU overcome your own fear to let your child truly be fearless? Share your thoughts in the comments!

 

 

My first time meditating….

I was sitting cross-legged on the floor in a dark-room with four women who I had never met before. Barefoot with my eyes closed and mind focused on breathing… I was meditating…I was in my zone.

“Take three deep breaths…. When you are breathing out, you are releasing all of the tension and negative energy that came with you today…”

PC: Mel Bosna Storyteller

Two years ago, I would have never been comfortable with this situation. Heck, even 5 months ago—I wouldn’t have pictured myself here— in the company of women who have mediated for years. I literally knew NO ONE, and here I was—being vulnerable and open to aligning with my inner peace.

Since the start of January, I’ve set out to put myself in more situations like this one. Completely open to the possibility of getting to know my real self . I’ve met people, experienced opportunities, and explored ways to take my dream and PASSION to the next level.

I couldn’t have imagined how FREEING this journey would become. Because, in the back of my mind—I’ve always wanted to practice meditation, but I never actually pursued it until the right person came along (That’s YOU, Sarah) to empower me to give it a try. Never in a million years would I have imagined putting myself into situations where I walk into an event, with not one familiar face and handle myself well. Am I uncomfortable at times? YES. But does that stop me? hell no.

Then it happened…

There was this moment during the session last night where I realized I was in the right place at the right time.

I was asked to visualize a person—living or dead. The person I visualized was my daughter. Focusing on my daughter, I was then told to imagine a rose that is absorbing all of the energy that I reflect onto her. Expectations, wishes, regrets and other things that I subconsciously reflect onto her. It was in that moment that I found myself fighting back tears. Struggling to keep myself composed in an effort to mask my real emotions from these strangers who surrounded me in that dark room.

PC: Mel Bosna Storyteller

In that moment, friends—it clicked. My expectations, my wishes, my regrets that I have belong to me and me only.

Although I wish the BEST for my daughter and want nothing more than her experiencing true happiness—the fact of the matter is that she will experience her own reality. She is taking up space in her own world, and it is my job to help her embrace the true person she is and will become.

And all of this was possible thanks to fate and intention. I unknowingly manifested last night’s experience. Just as I have been manifesting all of the experiences I’ve had over the last 5 months.

My journey began on January 1, 2018 with the sole purpose of creating opportunities for myself (personally and professionally)–allowing an organic community to form where women are seeking support, connection, growth and development. A Musing Momma has become the catapult for much of my soul searching and community growth.

For those of you who have been following along, THANK YOU. If you are new to this journey, welcome. My mission is to inspire you to embrace YOUR worth, CHASE your passion and find your community. THIS is your community. Let’s support and uplift one another, and I will happily be your guide during the journey.


For more information on this AMAZING meditation session and other classes available, check out Empower Wellness Studio AZ, follow the incredible Sarah O’Conner for all things Empower Wellness. The meditation was led by Adriana. Give her a follow too!

Do YOU meditate? How do you carve out some time for YOURSELF despite your busy schedule balancing work and home life? Share in the comments below!

Have YOU joined the tribe?! Sign up HERE for exclusive updates, giveaways and event invites!

Mark your calendar- Project: Passion Launch Party on June 9th hosted by Candice with A Musing Momma. Sign up HERE for event details.

LASTLY, if this post inspired YOU—please share this with ONE friend today!

Negative Self-Talk and Comparison…

If I listened to every negative thought that crossed my mind on a daily basis, I would never get any closer to following my dreams and passions. Cliché, I know—but so very true. Today’s post is about the negative self-talk that we as mommas do to ourselves daily.

Here’s an example. Scrolling through your social media feeds, what thoughts are crossing your mind as you see another momma’s selfie or “picture perfect” life she seems to have? If it’s not a positive thought, then where does that negativity come from?  Comparison is going to prevent us from making progress in our world today. To be upfront with you—I find myself struggling with comparison as well. It’s something we all do.

Negative self-talk, self-doubt, and insecurities can flood our thoughts and it can be very dangerous. It will prevent us from following our dreams, testing an idea, or exploring different things on a journey to purpose and fulfillment.

A more personal example: When asked about my Master’s degree I am currently pursuing, I will minimize it by mentioning that I did the majority of it online (almost as if saying that it was too easy to do).  When I speak up during a meeting, I find myself apologizing for my thoughts. Or, even as I am working on this blog, I sometimes question whether or not I am even making a difference. The conversations my mind is having with me is one that compares my journey to others. Comparison and negative self-talk.

Why do we all feel the need to minimize our greatness? Imagine a world where we all KNEW from every fiber of our being, just how VALUABLE we are. How much more light would shine on our world? How much more happiness and fulfillment might we have and embrace?

Instead of comparing ourselves with others, we could uplift and encourage. Think about how much more comfortable we’d be with taking risks without the fear of rejection, failure or ridicule.

It all starts with our thoughts. Our thoughts are powerful and our thoughts can propel us to our greatness. Today I will start on my first step of eliminating that comparison and negative self-talk. I’m going to be conscious of my thoughts and catch myself in the middle of a negative conversation my mind might want me to have.

I’ll catch those negative conversations and infuse positivity. Turn “I can’t do THAT” to “How can I achieve that?” Change “I’m not as good as…” to “I’m THE best version of myself, and here’s why…”  


What are some tips and tricks of how you CATCH your negative self-talk? How do you keep yourself from the monster of comparison? Share in the comments below!

If you liked this post, please share with a fellow momma or friend!

Successful people do Vision Boards

If your reading this, can you clearly define your vision? Can you perfectly see your future laid out and if so, are you taking the necessary steps to get to that ultimate goal? For many successful people, a clear vision helps define goals and attracts people to follow after the leader’s footsteps. Of course, that’s what you’d read about in the books. But, how does this apply to happiness and fulfillment? I’ll ask one more question– how do you know where you’re going without having the vision for it?

If you’re like me, then you started off this year with great intentions and may have even set your goals out on paper (or a blog post like I did here). Still, as we end January 2018—I’m still left with the itch to do more defining of my vision.

Allow me to introduce a friend, Tanya @GlowStudioAZ. Tanya is an accomplished speaker, author and executive coach who recently launched her second business venture specializing in wellness classes, meditation, yoga and journaling classes here in Phoenix, AZ. It was Tanya’s vision board workshop that caught my attention on Instagram in early January.

The Workshop

The workshop began with a powerful visualization practice in which Tanya asked us to close our eyes and visualize our ideal day from the moment we wake up, to the moment we close our eyes. For 10 minutes, we all sat in silence as Tanya guided us through a meditation that helped bring our true thoughts and dreams into clear vision.

After the guided visualization, we were tasked at journaling thoughts and themes that emerged through the meditation practice. For another 10 minutes, I wrote nonstop—anything that came to my mind and the words that resonated with me.

The themes I was able to uncover? Organization, Time, Freedom, and Strengthening actions. Centered around everything that I do, is the little family my husband and I have created. It was amazing to see my vision for intention and purpose brought to fruition in the pictures and words that I was able to capture on my vision board.

Now what?

My vision board is prominently displayed in an area where I see it first thing in the morning. I wake up, and while I’m getting ready for the day—I can see my vision board as a reminder of what my vision is. There is power in SEEING my dreams glued out in an organized-chaos cardboard display.

I’m no multi-million-dollar business owner, and I don’t have thousands of “followers,” but I know that all successful people start with a vision and work towards that vision every day. This vision board is one way I will work towards my vision of being happy, FREE and fulfilled.

If YOU are in the Phoenix area and would like to find out more about Glow Studio AZ, check out Tanya– @GlowstudioAZ, @Tanyawheeless @myhappygrace . www.theglowlife.com for more information—She’s got a few more February workshops including a Happy Hustle Mastermind, Glow Micro-Retreat and Vision Board Workshop, filling up fast!

What is YOUR vision, and how do YOU make it come to life? Share some ideas and thoughts in the comments below!

Thank you Oprah

When you woke up this morning in January, Oprah Winfrey’s name plastered the headlines of many different articles. The 75th Annual Golden Globe Awards was held last night, and Oprah became the first black woman to receive the Cecil B. DeMille Award. It was her speech that reminded us all of how remarkable Oprah is.

You know, I started this blog with one goal in mind- to tell my story as I journey towards a better, more fulfilled life. For years, I have been afraid—even shamed—of telling my story. Lots of times, not even feeling my story has any merit worth sharing. I’ll spend many years into the future continuing to share in hopes of inspiring.

Last night, Oprah inspired one specific thing for me—to speak my truth.

“Speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we have” –Oprah, 75th Golden Globe Awards

Whatever that truth may be, she gave me courage to speak up and share. Like so many other women, I have often felt that success comes with a price. I have found myself apologizing for being too bold, too aggressive, and too assertive. I’m a bitch if I speak my mind, I’m ignored if I don’t. I’ve spend many years filtering my words, actions and myself.

I have felt the shame that comes with being objectified as a woman. I’ve felt the fear of walking alone to my car at night. And, I’ve felt the pain of the words “NO”—as it is taken as an option.

Sharing my story won’t be easy. And I’ll spend a lifetime trying to get it right. But, one thing’s for sure—I’m proud to be a strong, bold, intelligent, passionate and skillful woman. Congratulations on your achievement, Oprah…and THANK YOU for reminding me of my worth.

Start here. What’s in it for you?

 

As I’m on the journey of self-reflection and intention, a couple of questions continue to cross my mind.

  1.       Am I creating content worth sharing?
  2.       Is there a clear message around WHY you should follow and read?

Since I haven’t formally made my intentions clear, allow me to explain…

It is my intention to share authentic, real things with you in the hopes of inspiring you. A wife and momma first, an influencer second—my goal is to inspire and connect people from all kinds of industries, businesses, and communities.

I want give a space for creativity and collaboration. We’ve all got thoughts and ideas in our minds…Let this be our space….I’ll start the conversation, and you’re encouraged to participate in the dialogue. Your voice matters. This is the space for your voice to be heard. I want to give an outlet for other working moms and dads to promote themselves, find support and just be able to connect with other like-minded individuals.

I remember as a new working mom, I found solace in the community of other working moms via social media groups and parenting blogs. It is my hope that this becomes your place to connect and not feel so alone.

Because, let’s be honest….sometimes life puts you through some crazy things and you are left to think: “Is it just me? Am I the only one who is struggling with this? Everyone else has it all figured out.”

My friends, they don’t. No one has it all figured out, and this blog is meant to pull back the curtain to expose the realness of life as a working parent.

It occurred to me the other day that I haven’t clearly laid out my intentions of this project. Rather, what’s in it for you? So, to summarize:

  • Connection and support
  • Parenting, Professional, Relational, Emotional advice
  • Collaboration
  • Authenticity
  • Community

I do hope you’ll join and connect with me! Let’s start a conversation….

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