Women are beautiful, better, and stronger together

During my time climbing the corporate ladder, I had my fair share of run-ins with other women who were catty, judgmental and two-faced. At least that’s how I viewed them a few years ago, when I was vying for a promotion in the company I worked for.

I remember hearing back from co-workers that a particular person was running my name through the dirt and sharing with others how unfit I was for the promotion. The crazy part is that this person was in fact someone who I had a lot of respect for and considered a friend at the time.

Despite it all, I got the promotion and still continued to be cordial with that woman for several years after.

The truth is–most women don’t support other women. And it pains me to recognize that I’ve fallen victim to this as well in my own life experiences.

Women are catty to each other. Women talk behind each other’s backs. Women are two-faced.

At least that’s what I thought up until the beginning of this year when I embarked on my journey with A Musing Momma.

You see, there is a movement of women empowerment out there striving to break the cycle of women versus women mentalities. We as women are magnificent and powerful, however we’re more powerful when we are working together.

There are two trending hashtags that I came across earlier this year– #communityovercompetition and #womensupportingwomen. To me, these phrases mean so much more to me than a trendy slogan you could put in the caption of your photo.

For me, community over competition is exactly what I envisioned when I set out to make connections with other mommas with A Musing Momma.

I strongly believe that there is enough success in the world to go around. That one person’s success doesn’t mean there is less for you. The possibilities are truly endless, and it makes sense for us women to lock arms and help each other up.

Women supporting other women is beautiful. It shows the confidence you have in your abilities to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

When I see women bashing other women, it’s more of a reflection of them than anything else. These women are battling things that no one can see, and they are projecting fears and insecurities out on others to make them feel more powerful.

Change is on the horizon. Women are waking up to the fact that we are better, stronger and more beautiful together.

Credit: Nikki Boether @charlietakesphx

Cheer on that momma who just breastfed her child for the first time. Give a high-five to the woman who is slaying in her career. Recognize that momma who is balancing everything so well from what you can see. When we can support and encourage each other, we empower one another.


What does community over competition OR women supporting women mean to YOU? Share some thoughts below! Follow and TAG @amusingmomma in any thoughts you have related to this post and share this with a friend today!

Mommas–hurry up and SLOW DOWN

 

We were getting out of the car the other day; Eilynn had just told me about a gold star she received at school as a result of being the “Class Leader of the Day.” I was deep in thought—and wanted to let her know how proud I was of her.

I opened the car door, and simply said- “Hey Eilynn…remember…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence, because she cut me off quickly and said, “I know, I know mom…hurry up.” My heart dropped.

“Hurry up? That’s what she thought I wanted to say to her?” In that moment, I was genuinely ashamed.

Mommas, how many times, does that simple phrase “hurry up” become the main request when speaking to our children?

“Hurry up and put on your shoes”

“Hurry up so we can get on the road”

“Hurry up, we’re going to be late for school”

“Hurry up and finish your dinner”

It was then, that I suddenly realized my daughter’s perception of me was that of a momma who is always in a rush.

Seriously—what’s the rush, mommas? Why are we in such a hurry to speed through life?

And, let’s be honest here—it’s typical. I recently aired a podcast addressing this ever-so-busy lifestyle that we have all adopted. We are in a constant state of GO-GO-GO from the moment we wake up to begin our days. We all lead prosperous lives filled with endless work, meetings, after school activities, parent-teacher conferences—the list goes on and on. It’s no wonder why most mommas complain about not having enough time in the day.

But, what message is this teaching my daughter–when she thinks that she must always hurry up?

What happens when she hurries up through her homework and doesn’t even grasp the lesson it’s supposed to teach her? What happens when she hurries through a tough decision that she needs to make and instead acts on impulse or emotion? What happens when she grows into another adult who never stops to give herself time?

I don’t know about you—but I’m tired of living a life where I’m constantly bombarded with schedules, time constraints and burnout. SLOWING down and taking time might be good for the soul.

On the podcast episode I mentioned above, I brought up my “1 hour early” strategy for slowing down and being more present on a daily basis. That’s what I’m hoping to achieve in life… more time to myself to be intentional and present…and not always hurrying up.

I want to teach my daughter that there is so much of life missed by always hurrying through it.

Mommas, let’s hurry up and slow down.

CHECK OUT THAT PODCAST EPISODE HERE. 


Mommas, what are you constantly in a rush for? Share some comments below! If you enjoyed this blog post, please share with a friend. Also– check out the podcast episode by clicking on the link above!

Lemonade stands and an entrepreneurial spirit…Sarah’s story

I picture her as that young ambitious six-year-old sitting in the front yard at a lemonade stand. You know the one. The kid who had all of the elaborate ideas and wanted more than any typical six-year-old would have imagined.

Although I never knew her back then, Sarah Moore has a strong entrepreneurial spirit that I feel so lucky to get to know through this project.

A high school English teacher by day, momma when she gets home, and creative writer by night—Sarah is on her way to success as she pursues her ultimate passion as an author and blogger.

Credit: Studio SPC

On defining passion…

“[Passion] is that one small voice that won’t leave you alone…and it keeps you going even when you don’t want to.” To Sarah, passion is an urge that, no matter how hard she tried—she couldn’t ignore. In fact, Sarah mentioned that she’s started three different novels before she got to the one that she wanted to really write about. “I’ve even tried to avoid it sometimes, because it’s hard…to get into that book especially with a toddler running around, and that’s the reason I have the blog…”

She goes on to say, “I am not in an entrepreneurial field, and I keep coming back to [the fact that] I want to do something more, and teaching is a real intense job…and some people think I’m crazy for adding another thing to that, but it just brings me to life….and it won’t leave me alone.”

At what point did you know you were passionate about writing?

For Sarah, being a creative writer has been like a calling. It’s what she was meant to do. “Since I was a kid, I use to write stories…I use to tell stories, even if it wasn’t writing—I was involved in a lot of theater, I always had a vivid imagination, I would come up with these wild [stories] on my own—so whether I was writing it down or a little radio show I did as a little kid…no matter what medium I was using, I’ve always been interested in stories and other people’s experiences.” Sarah’s experience as a high school English teacher has helped her be able to hone in on her true passion for writing. “There would be times when I was teaching and giving a test, and a story would come to me and I just had to start writing it down.”

Obstacles—

Credit: Studio SPC

Being a working momma and wife, pursuing Sarah’s passion hasn’t always been easy. As most would expect, life responsibilities sometimes get in the way of being able to chase that passion. For Sarah, it was no different.

“Finding time and being creative in that time is an obstacle because once I come home, I want to give my full attention to my toddler.”

The challenge of time and balancing work/life balance is the biggest challenge for Sarah. Having a small amount of time in between weekend naps and running the household would create limited time for Sarah to be creative and work on her novel.

Support System-

Having a strong support system is important for when the challenges become too hard to bear. “The biggest supporter, biggest cheerleader is my husband because even with all the stupid things I’ve tried [in the past], he’s always 100% supportive of each one of those things.”

At your inner core—who are you?

Defining who you are at your inner core takes some reflection inwardly. When asked the question, Sarah did not hesitate to provide an answer that really sheds like into the type of person she truly is. At her inner core, Sarah is a dreamer and creative thinker. “I am always somewhere in my imagination to think of a new idea trying to [make] a difference.” She goes on, “I want to make a difference. I want to help people and I dream to do that…I think my passion helps me with that.”

A novel in the making…

Sarah’s passion revolves around putting her creative imagination to work in a fictional novel that she is currently working on. Without giving away too much about it, the story will involve suspense, intrigue and a bit of history. “It’s weird when you put it out there—that you are writing—and it’s going so slow, but I am still sticking with it. It’s kinda like, ‘I’ve gotta do this,’ but it keeps me going…keeps me writing.”

Staying focused and intentional, Sarah has been working towards a lifetime dream of magnifying her creative side. While the future is never promised, Sarah embraces the pathway she has taken as a working momma and creative writer. “Just because I’m choosing right now to write this novel, to work my job and then blog—that doesn’t mean that’s where it’s going to stay.” Indeed, Sarah is headed down the path of truly chasing and living her passion.

About Sarah Moore

Sarah Moore is the blogger behind The Marlett Manuscript, an Ohio-based blog intended to highlight her love for non-toxic beauty and inspiration. Sarah is a full-time high school English teacher and military spouse with one 2-year-old daughter, Emilia—who is her “miracle baby”. After years of infertility, Sarah and husband became pregnant after IVF treatment and were even given low probability of a successful pregnancy. She uses her blog to document her journey as a mom and provide tips and things to make life easier as a working/career mom. You can find Sarah on Instagram @themarlettmanuscript and the blog at www.themarlettmanuscript.com

 


What are YOU passionate about? Share some thoughts in the comments below!

Also, if you liked this post– please share with a friend!


COMING SOON: A Musing Momma- The Podcast

Give the newest podcast episode a listen and SUBSCRIBE today! Click on the picture to listen.

Becoming WHOLE means uncovering some hidden truths

One day in the near future, I will stand in my truth and proclaim that “I am worthy. I am enough.” The road to that day will be paved with challenges, triumphs, self-realizations and truths that I have to be willing to acknowledge and embrace. It’s going to take courage and belief in myself that I am doing what is best for me. I have to trust myself and trust the process, because Lord knows there will be challenges.

How can I expect to give my daughter the best of me if I myself am not whole? It’s a question that I was afraid to ask myself for the first 4 years of my daughter’s life.

Somewhere deep inside of my soul, was a longing to resolve anything that might stand in the way of giving my daughter 100% all of me.

The thing is, I had no idea what those unresolved matters were…but they were there. Like a shell’s hard layer, the unresolved issues were just one layer below.

They were there every time I refused to look myself in the mirror and love the woman I had become. Curves on my body that weren’t always there, wrinkles that would appear out of nowhere and a smile that I had a hard time accepting. It was there when I had second guesses about my own happiness and worth in my marriage with her father. It was there when I would cry myself to sleep in the middle of the night because I felt alone and dark. And it was also there when I would feel panic about my daughter finding out the ugly truth of my past…Those unresolved issues where there all along, but I was unwilling to accept them.

Instead, I spent the first 4 years of my daughter’s life ignoring the unresolved issues in my life. Blissfully unaware of the pain and ugliness that lived inside my soul.

Until the moment I realized that I was broken.

It was the night I crawled into bed with my daughter after an argument with my husband. I was upset. For so long, I thought the unhappiness came from my husband’s inability to show me appreciation. But, laying in the bed with my daughter and crying to her—I realized that it wasn’t my husband’s inability—rather MY own inability to love myself. Because, here I was crying on my four-year-old daughter’s shoulder—seeing the look of concern and worry in her little eyes while she was trying to console ME. I was broken. My daughter could see it…and that night—I could see it.

That was the night that I began the ascent into my awakening. My journey to finding out what was bothering ME. And why was I so upset and angry. I took pen to paper and began writing….

I started with my story. From the very beginning… and unleashed years of regret, anger, hurt, and pain that I had been ignoring since my early childhood.

It was empowering to recognize the feeling and emotions that I had not named before. I dove into hours of books, podcasts and genuine conversations to help me begin to become whole again. To fix those broken parts of me that were angry and upset all the time…

Since that night, I keep talking about my discovery of truths and emotional healing. When I was able to face my past and have the courage to question why I was hurt—a rush of relief washed over me.

I’m willing to bet we all have things that we need to heal from. Past hurts, heartbreaks and experiences that we try to hide from the outside world.

However, the moment you step into your truth and face your deepest soul aches is ultimately what will set you free and enable you to heal…thus, becoming whole.

Until then, I will keep writing…and soul searching…and learning from my past mistakes. And looking forward to the day where I can say and believe with all my heart that “I am enough.”


What does becoming WHOLE mean to YOU? Share some thoughts in the comments below. If you enjoyed this post, please share with a friend to help spread this message. 

A formal proclamation of perfection

A wise friend gave me an honest reflection the other night. “You are liked because you strive to be perfect…” It was a simple remark said to me that sent me knee-deep in contemplation. With perfection comes a dilemma— how can you strive to be “perfect” and authentic at the same time? Perfection is the very concept that I aim to destroy in our world of competition, comparison and vanity.

Thus, a real self-reflection commenced. I spent the entire next day reflecting on how I have spent my entire life striving to be perfect. I started with my morning drive to work…

“Candice, why the hell do you strive to be perfect?”

In all honesty, my friend was right. I strive for perfection in everything that I do. I recently planned an event for Project: Passion and gave myself a jaw ache with all the stress and anxiety I had during the last two weeks leading up to the event (apparently, I clench my teeth when I’m under a ton of stress, my dentist confirmed).

So, the question remains—WHY do I strive to be perfect? And how does that impact how I am as a mother?

If I trace my history back to childhood, I remember loving the spotlight. Whether it be on stage during a singing performance or a speech that I was elected to give in front of an audience. I thrived off all eyes being on me….why? Because I was good at it.

My ah-ha moment the other night was realizing that feedback has a lot to do with perfection.

Those who know me well know that I love asking for feedback. My ah-ha moment the other night was realizing that feedback has a lot to do with perfection. You see, when I feel confident that I’ve nailed a presentation or speech—I will intentionally ask for feedback because I’ll get validation of what I did well and what I didn’t—I use for the NEXT time I present, hence—striving for perfection.

So, let this be my formal proclamation—I am a perfectionist. And I still care about what other people think of me.

The next question—How will this affect my parenting?

If how act and treat others is a projection of how I view myself, then where will perfection shape how my daughter views herself? Will perfection become my kryptonite?

Perhaps, the awareness of my perfection tendencies is all that is needed to break the magic of the kryptonite. Imagine being able to look back on this moment when my daughter is older and making mistakes where I can pause and realize that mistakes are what make us human. What if this realization of perfection is exactly what was needed for me to stop it in it’s tracks?

I won’t know until the moment comes. Until then, I’ll keep calling myself out. And celebrating all of my flaws and missteps. I’ll embrace the not-so-perfect moments and revel in all it’s glory. To prove it, this post contains several “non-perfect” pictures taken recently. Embracing authenticity as I destroy the notion of perfection.  Maybe my daughter will catch on…


How do YOU handle the idea of perfection? Do YOU see it coming up in your daily life? How can we all learn to be more authentic and less perfect? Share some thoughts in the comments!

If you found value in this post, please share with a friend, family member or peer.

Be careful=be fearful?

 

Two words that sparked this topic: “Be careful!”

We got E a pink Power Wheels Jeep for her fourth birthday. She was so excited to jump in the driver’s seat and have all of the control as a driver. Zooming all around ours and our neighbor’s front yard, E was having the time of her life. We took her on an evening ride around the neighborhood, and as she drove on the sidewalk—I found myself saying “be careful!…not too fast….watch where you’re going…” the entire time.

You may not think it’s much of a big deal, but what I realized on this evening drive is that I may be subconsciously training my daughter to be fearful of the bad things that could happen in the world.

Because when I’m constantly saying, “be careful,” what E might be hearing is “be fearful.”

We have a very important job as mothers. To protect our children from harm and prepare them for a world where they can be self-sufficient. We also teach them to be productive members of society, with a strong moral compass. But, what if my fears for the worst end up doing more harm than good?

We live in a time where the news is saturated with tragic events. It breaks my heart to acknowledge that I brought my daughter into a world where safe places are never guaranteed. There is stranger danger, social media dangers, and mass murders happening often and I constantly live in fear of the unthinkable.

But, then I think about my daughter… So untainted to all of the ugliness. Pure and innocent…and oh so very fearless. Why should MY fears hold HER back from exploring a world of endless possibilities?

So, while “be careful” might seem like a harmless cautionary request—when I consider the potential it might have to E’s curiosity and tenacity—I feel a pang of guilt because I want to put her in a bubble and keep her safe her whole life.

You hear about a deep love that you’ll find when you have your first child. You hear stories of this instant, deep and pure love that you can’t ever imagine until the first few moments you are joined with your firstborn.

What you don’t hear about is the constant FEAR you will have as a mother. Fear for the uncontrollable world that we live in. Fear of the unthinkable and unimaginable. Fear of things, events and situations that you won’t be able to protect your child from. Fear of things that I am to scared to type out in words.

I want to let go of that fear. I believe that despite all of the heartbreak and tragedy, the world is really filled with happiness, hope and love if you know where to look for it…

That’s what I’ll teach E to do–look for the love in a world of hate. Look for the light in a world full of darkness. And search for positivity when the majority wants to focus on the negative. It’s a delicate balance of guidance and teaching E about the dangers the world could have, but also encourage her to be fearless in her dreams and passions.

As for me, I’ll have to follow my own teachings and embrace the uncertainty that life presents us with. It puts a whole new perspective on “living each moment to the fullest”.


What are some of YOUR fears as a momma? How do YOU overcome your own fear to let your child truly be fearless? Share your thoughts in the comments!