Be careful=be fearful?

 

Two words that sparked this topic: “Be careful!”

We got E a pink Power Wheels Jeep for her fourth birthday. She was so excited to jump in the driver’s seat and have all of the control as a driver. Zooming all around ours and our neighbor’s front yard, E was having the time of her life. We took her on an evening ride around the neighborhood, and as she drove on the sidewalk—I found myself saying “be careful!…not too fast….watch where you’re going…” the entire time.

You may not think it’s much of a big deal, but what I realized on this evening drive is that I may be subconsciously training my daughter to be fearful of the bad things that could happen in the world.

Because when I’m constantly saying, “be careful,” what E might be hearing is “be fearful.”

We have a very important job as mothers. To protect our children from harm and prepare them for a world where they can be self-sufficient. We also teach them to be productive members of society, with a strong moral compass. But, what if my fears for the worst end up doing more harm than good?

We live in a time where the news is saturated with tragic events. It breaks my heart to acknowledge that I brought my daughter into a world where safe places are never guaranteed. There is stranger danger, social media dangers, and mass murders happening often and I constantly live in fear of the unthinkable.

But, then I think about my daughter… So untainted to all of the ugliness. Pure and innocent…and oh so very fearless. Why should MY fears hold HER back from exploring a world of endless possibilities?

So, while “be careful” might seem like a harmless cautionary request—when I consider the potential it might have to E’s curiosity and tenacity—I feel a pang of guilt because I want to put her in a bubble and keep her safe her whole life.

You hear about a deep love that you’ll find when you have your first child. You hear stories of this instant, deep and pure love that you can’t ever imagine until the first few moments you are joined with your firstborn.

What you don’t hear about is the constant FEAR you will have as a mother. Fear for the uncontrollable world that we live in. Fear of the unthinkable and unimaginable. Fear of things, events and situations that you won’t be able to protect your child from. Fear of things that I am to scared to type out in words.

I want to let go of that fear. I believe that despite all of the heartbreak and tragedy, the world is really filled with happiness, hope and love if you know where to look for it…

That’s what I’ll teach E to do–look for the love in a world of hate. Look for the light in a world full of darkness. And search for positivity when the majority wants to focus on the negative. It’s a delicate balance of guidance and teaching E about the dangers the world could have, but also encourage her to be fearless in her dreams and passions.

As for me, I’ll have to follow my own teachings and embrace the uncertainty that life presents us with. It puts a whole new perspective on “living each moment to the fullest”.


What are some of YOUR fears as a momma? How do YOU overcome your own fear to let your child truly be fearless? Share your thoughts in the comments!

 

 

Negative Self-Talk and Comparison…

If I listened to every negative thought that crossed my mind on a daily basis, I would never get any closer to following my dreams and passions. Cliché, I know—but so very true. Today’s post is about the negative self-talk that we as mommas do to ourselves daily.

Here’s an example. Scrolling through your social media feeds, what thoughts are crossing your mind as you see another momma’s selfie or “picture perfect” life she seems to have? If it’s not a positive thought, then where does that negativity come from?  Comparison is going to prevent us from making progress in our world today. To be upfront with you—I find myself struggling with comparison as well. It’s something we all do.

Negative self-talk, self-doubt, and insecurities can flood our thoughts and it can be very dangerous. It will prevent us from following our dreams, testing an idea, or exploring different things on a journey to purpose and fulfillment.

A more personal example: When asked about my Master’s degree I am currently pursuing, I will minimize it by mentioning that I did the majority of it online (almost as if saying that it was too easy to do).  When I speak up during a meeting, I find myself apologizing for my thoughts. Or, even as I am working on this blog, I sometimes question whether or not I am even making a difference. The conversations my mind is having with me is one that compares my journey to others. Comparison and negative self-talk.

Why do we all feel the need to minimize our greatness? Imagine a world where we all KNEW from every fiber of our being, just how VALUABLE we are. How much more light would shine on our world? How much more happiness and fulfillment might we have and embrace?

Instead of comparing ourselves with others, we could uplift and encourage. Think about how much more comfortable we’d be with taking risks without the fear of rejection, failure or ridicule.

It all starts with our thoughts. Our thoughts are powerful and our thoughts can propel us to our greatness. Today I will start on my first step of eliminating that comparison and negative self-talk. I’m going to be conscious of my thoughts and catch myself in the middle of a negative conversation my mind might want me to have.

I’ll catch those negative conversations and infuse positivity. Turn “I can’t do THAT” to “How can I achieve that?” Change “I’m not as good as…” to “I’m THE best version of myself, and here’s why…”  


What are some tips and tricks of how you CATCH your negative self-talk? How do you keep yourself from the monster of comparison? Share in the comments below!

If you liked this post, please share with a fellow momma or friend!

Successful people do Vision Boards

If your reading this, can you clearly define your vision? Can you perfectly see your future laid out and if so, are you taking the necessary steps to get to that ultimate goal? For many successful people, a clear vision helps define goals and attracts people to follow after the leader’s footsteps. Of course, that’s what you’d read about in the books. But, how does this apply to happiness and fulfillment? I’ll ask one more question– how do you know where you’re going without having the vision for it?

If you’re like me, then you started off this year with great intentions and may have even set your goals out on paper (or a blog post like I did here). Still, as we end January 2018—I’m still left with the itch to do more defining of my vision.

Allow me to introduce a friend, Tanya @GlowStudioAZ. Tanya is an accomplished speaker, author and executive coach who recently launched her second business venture specializing in wellness classes, meditation, yoga and journaling classes here in Phoenix, AZ. It was Tanya’s vision board workshop that caught my attention on Instagram in early January.

The Workshop

The workshop began with a powerful visualization practice in which Tanya asked us to close our eyes and visualize our ideal day from the moment we wake up, to the moment we close our eyes. For 10 minutes, we all sat in silence as Tanya guided us through a meditation that helped bring our true thoughts and dreams into clear vision.

After the guided visualization, we were tasked at journaling thoughts and themes that emerged through the meditation practice. For another 10 minutes, I wrote nonstop—anything that came to my mind and the words that resonated with me.

The themes I was able to uncover? Organization, Time, Freedom, and Strengthening actions. Centered around everything that I do, is the little family my husband and I have created. It was amazing to see my vision for intention and purpose brought to fruition in the pictures and words that I was able to capture on my vision board.

Now what?

My vision board is prominently displayed in an area where I see it first thing in the morning. I wake up, and while I’m getting ready for the day—I can see my vision board as a reminder of what my vision is. There is power in SEEING my dreams glued out in an organized-chaos cardboard display.

I’m no multi-million-dollar business owner, and I don’t have thousands of “followers,” but I know that all successful people start with a vision and work towards that vision every day. This vision board is one way I will work towards my vision of being happy, FREE and fulfilled.

If YOU are in the Phoenix area and would like to find out more about Glow Studio AZ, check out Tanya– @GlowstudioAZ, @Tanyawheeless @myhappygrace . www.theglowlife.com for more information—She’s got a few more February workshops including a Happy Hustle Mastermind, Glow Micro-Retreat and Vision Board Workshop, filling up fast!

What is YOUR vision, and how do YOU make it come to life? Share some ideas and thoughts in the comments below!

It’s been a rough week…

It’s been a rough week. Matter of fact, it’s been a rough couple of months–even YEAR. Settlements, Earthquakes, Hurricanes, Tragedies….the list continues to go on and on. If you’re not careful, you might find yourself sucked into the darkness of despair. I’ve been there. I’ve felt the helplessness and anger about the events that have happened around me.

 

However, that’s not what this entry is about. If you’ve found yourself in a situation where you’ve felt anger, outrage or even anguish about the recent events that are highlighted in today’s news– it might help to remember the words of my childhood teacher and visionary/TV personality. Yesterday, I was reminded of him– the late Fred Rogers:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’”- Fred Rogers

It’s true. You could fixate on all the negativity…everything going WRONG in our world today, and get lost in the chaos. But, what good would that do? Instead, I encourage you to look for the positive in such a devastating event…”look for the helpers.” There are already so many helpers…

I avoided a car accident yesterday. On my way home from work. I was passing an intersection and a car turned right into my lane as I was crossing. I slammed on the brakes and just BARELY missed the car. My brakes stalled and I was stopped in the middle of the intersection. In any normal situation– after my panic subsided, I would have become ANGRY and APPALLED– quick to place the blame on that individual who almost caused me to collide with them. However, yesterday was different. After my initial panic, I forced myself NOT to place blame, but to feel compassion and understanding. I thought to myself, “This was not on purpose. Perhaps the person driving the car didn’t see me and didn’t realize I was headed straight towards them.”

Friends, it was in that moment that I decided to practice more kindness. Instead of being quick to place blame and focus on the negativity, I am challenging myself to look for the positives. No matter how rough and tough life gets, I will always look for the positives…like the helpers, and the givers, and the ones who are able to see the light through all the darkness.

If not me, then who? It starts with us. Change is possible and we can make it through all of this together.