I Crave Authenticity and Realness

Everyone has a story to tell that’s worth sharing.

At my core- who am I?

For as long as I can remember, I’ve embraced a certain level of privacy and concealment around who I really am. You don’t know a dark side I once had when I contemplated a near death experience. You don’t see the pain behind my eyes when I long for a closer relationship with my family. You haven’t heard of the insecurities I’ve had all my life.

And that’s because I’ve blocked you from it. Like a layer of protection for me….from things like rejection, judgement and transparency.

Like I’ve written before, I’ve kept a lot of my deepest thoughts, secrets and dreams to myself as I put on a façade of who I think people want me to be.

It didn’t help that I grew up in a Corporate environment, where I was taught to keep things “politically correct.” If I wanted to get that next position, or move up the corporate ladder, I had to play the corporate game. To hell with that….

But, let me tell you—there is a certain sense of freedom that comes with discovering your story and telling it to the world. It’s like I’m ripping off a layer of disguise that I’ve assumed for over 30 years to reveal my stripped core. That’s where the vulnerability and truth live. Because stripping down to the inner core of my being is where you’ll find authenticity.

Next week, I’ll publicly tell my story to a room full of strangers. It will move me one step towards my authentic truth. However, even thinking about sharing my story makes me nervous. I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t say that I am timid about sharing a personal side of me that most do not know.

I’m scared of showing that vulnerability. Because part of me still thinks that vulnerability is weakness. If you hear and know me at my inner core, you’d be able to spot the points of weakness.

Instead, next week I will take that side of me that still thinks vulnerability is weakness and force myself to believe that it can be my superpower. Because when I’m vulnerable and transparent with you, I’ll be more real and human.

Over the last few months, I’ve reflected on who I am at my inner core. At the risk of being vulnerable, I am sharing a piece of what I’ve been able to discovered about myself so far…

At my core- I am a woman who seeks validation and emotional connection. I need to feel wanted, valued, and appreciated and if I don’t feel that from someone, I tend to shut down physically and emotionally. Despite all of that, I’m also loyal as hell and will go to the ends of the earth to protect the ones I love most.

At the end of the day, we all we all crave authenticity. Realness. And connection with others who have found their inner core.

The work is far from being done, but at least I’m one step closer to my inner core than I was yesterday.


Stripped down to your inner core, WHO ARE YOU? I encourage YOU to begin the feeling of freedom from any constraints that hold you back from being your authentic self. Who are you? Comment below to share your thoughts!

If you liked this post, SHARE with a friend or fellow momma who needs authenticity too!


IF YOU ARE IN THE PHOENIX AREA: Come join us at a Monthly Motivational Mixer hosted by my good friend, John Vasquez with JVImpacts as Candice opens up about her story and vision behind A Musing Momma. Thursday March 29th at Helton Brewing Company. Details and RSVP here.

Negative Self-Talk and Comparison…

If I listened to every negative thought that crossed my mind on a daily basis, I would never get any closer to following my dreams and passions. Cliché, I know—but so very true. Today’s post is about the negative self-talk that we as mommas do to ourselves daily.

Here’s an example. Scrolling through your social media feeds, what thoughts are crossing your mind as you see another momma’s selfie or “picture perfect” life she seems to have? If it’s not a positive thought, then where does that negativity come from?  Comparison is going to prevent us from making progress in our world today. To be upfront with you—I find myself struggling with comparison as well. It’s something we all do.

Negative self-talk, self-doubt, and insecurities can flood our thoughts and it can be very dangerous. It will prevent us from following our dreams, testing an idea, or exploring different things on a journey to purpose and fulfillment.

A more personal example: When asked about my Master’s degree I am currently pursuing, I will minimize it by mentioning that I did the majority of it online (almost as if saying that it was too easy to do).  When I speak up during a meeting, I find myself apologizing for my thoughts. Or, even as I am working on this blog, I sometimes question whether or not I am even making a difference. The conversations my mind is having with me is one that compares my journey to others. Comparison and negative self-talk.

Why do we all feel the need to minimize our greatness? Imagine a world where we all KNEW from every fiber of our being, just how VALUABLE we are. How much more light would shine on our world? How much more happiness and fulfillment might we have and embrace?

Instead of comparing ourselves with others, we could uplift and encourage. Think about how much more comfortable we’d be with taking risks without the fear of rejection, failure or ridicule.

It all starts with our thoughts. Our thoughts are powerful and our thoughts can propel us to our greatness. Today I will start on my first step of eliminating that comparison and negative self-talk. I’m going to be conscious of my thoughts and catch myself in the middle of a negative conversation my mind might want me to have.

I’ll catch those negative conversations and infuse positivity. Turn “I can’t do THAT” to “How can I achieve that?” Change “I’m not as good as…” to “I’m THE best version of myself, and here’s why…”  


What are some tips and tricks of how you CATCH your negative self-talk? How do you keep yourself from the monster of comparison? Share in the comments below!

If you liked this post, please share with a fellow momma or friend!

Successful people do Vision Boards

If your reading this, can you clearly define your vision? Can you perfectly see your future laid out and if so, are you taking the necessary steps to get to that ultimate goal? For many successful people, a clear vision helps define goals and attracts people to follow after the leader’s footsteps. Of course, that’s what you’d read about in the books. But, how does this apply to happiness and fulfillment? I’ll ask one more question– how do you know where you’re going without having the vision for it?

If you’re like me, then you started off this year with great intentions and may have even set your goals out on paper (or a blog post like I did here). Still, as we end January 2018—I’m still left with the itch to do more defining of my vision.

Allow me to introduce a friend, Tanya @GlowStudioAZ. Tanya is an accomplished speaker, author and executive coach who recently launched her second business venture specializing in wellness classes, meditation, yoga and journaling classes here in Phoenix, AZ. It was Tanya’s vision board workshop that caught my attention on Instagram in early January.

The Workshop

The workshop began with a powerful visualization practice in which Tanya asked us to close our eyes and visualize our ideal day from the moment we wake up, to the moment we close our eyes. For 10 minutes, we all sat in silence as Tanya guided us through a meditation that helped bring our true thoughts and dreams into clear vision.

After the guided visualization, we were tasked at journaling thoughts and themes that emerged through the meditation practice. For another 10 minutes, I wrote nonstop—anything that came to my mind and the words that resonated with me.

The themes I was able to uncover? Organization, Time, Freedom, and Strengthening actions. Centered around everything that I do, is the little family my husband and I have created. It was amazing to see my vision for intention and purpose brought to fruition in the pictures and words that I was able to capture on my vision board.

Now what?

My vision board is prominently displayed in an area where I see it first thing in the morning. I wake up, and while I’m getting ready for the day—I can see my vision board as a reminder of what my vision is. There is power in SEEING my dreams glued out in an organized-chaos cardboard display.

I’m no multi-million-dollar business owner, and I don’t have thousands of “followers,” but I know that all successful people start with a vision and work towards that vision every day. This vision board is one way I will work towards my vision of being happy, FREE and fulfilled.

If YOU are in the Phoenix area and would like to find out more about Glow Studio AZ, check out Tanya– @GlowstudioAZ, @Tanyawheeless @myhappygrace . www.theglowlife.com for more information—She’s got a few more February workshops including a Happy Hustle Mastermind, Glow Micro-Retreat and Vision Board Workshop, filling up fast!

What is YOUR vision, and how do YOU make it come to life? Share some ideas and thoughts in the comments below!

Lessons in Leadership. Take your leadership to the next level

 

When I think back on my journey to where I’m at today in my career, there is one thing that has been consistent—Leadership.

Clark Tibbs

I’ve had the privilege of working for some great leaders who have also become mentors to me. Reflecting on each manager who I’ve reported to, there are certain things that have really left a mark and shaped me into the leader I am today.

There’s Stella* who took a chance on me. I was a wide-eyed go-getter who had virtually no experience with cash handling or customer service, but still she saw something in me. What Stella taught me was discipline and process help to make your life an easier one. She was processed and had high standards. I will always remember the first time she had a talk with me about my poor performance. It was the only time she needed to have that discussion, because after that—I became her top performer.

There was Jessica* who taught me to go after what I want in life. I thought becoming a banker was out of my reach, but Jessica believed in me (before I even knew I had it in myself). Jessica taught me to look for what I want in life, and go all in—leaving the fear of failure behind. Because of Jessica, I’ve sought after other roles with the same enthusiasm I learned from her.

I’ll never forget the time I had working with Joe.* What I learned from Joe is priceless and applies to all aspects of my life, professionally and personally. Joe taught me what it means to be a leader who serves. He had a way to inspire people to become something bigger than themselves. I envied how Joe captured the room with just one phrase. He believed that if I wanted to move mountains, I would be able to do that. His authentic, REAL belief in me inspired me to step outside my comfort zone often and grow as a leader.

I had the pleasure to learn from John,* who is the ultimate dream chaser. He helped me understand that dreams are worth chasing. No matter what challenges get in your way (declines, lack of money, lack of perceived results, etc)—your dream is worth fighting for. John has since left the corporate world in pursuance of his lifelong dream and it’s fantastic to see him live out his dream today!

I’ve learned from Becky* as I refine my skills and development every day. Becky taught me the importance of focusing on self-development. I’ve learned that there’s always something to improve on in your current role, no matter the tenure you have.

You don’t ever know what type of impression you’ll leave on somebody, but it’s worth considering. What impression will YOU leave on people? As a leader, you have the unique opportunity to influence and inspire people. Here are some things you can do TODAY to evoke that inspiration:

  • Look for potential in individuals, and don’t be afraid to take a chance on them.
  • Believing wholeheartedly in them. Not just the “I believe you can do it,” kind of belief, but really believing the BEST of people.
  • Inspiring people to be a part of something bigger than themselves. Seek their opinions. Challenge their mindsets. Serve them. When you’ve got a team who is fully committed, the sky is the limit with what you can do from there!
  • Encourage them to find their dream and chase after it. Get to know their dreams, their passions. Encourage them to find passion in what they do every day!

*Names used with permission or changed to protect the privacy of the individual

What were some of the leadership lessons you’ve learned from past leaders? Does it shape you into the type of person/leader you are today? Share below in the comments!

Admitting my mistakes

 

My precious daughter. Bless your energy, compassion, curiosity and tenderheartedness. I feel your watchful eyes—eager to replicate everything that I do. You see me put on makeup, so you beg to “pee-tend” to put on your makeup. Coffee in the morning? You are right there with me, with your chocolate milk and plastic coffee cup to enjoy your “coffee” alongside mine. Even your mannerisms are all too familiar (the way you dance and sing at the top of your lungs after Sunday morning breakfast). I know you see me. I’m aware of your focused observations.

This position as your momma bears great responsibility. As I’ve written before, you are constantly holding a mirror and showing me my reflection—good or bad.  And although I’m up for the challenge, I feel compelled to share with you that I don’t always know what I’m doing….

I’m only human. I make mistakes. I will make more mistakes. I’m still figuring this parenting thing out, and I’m bound to never know all of the answers.

I will lose my temper and yell. Although I will try hardest not to, sometimes I may not know how to communicate my message without yelling.

I will say “NO,” when I should really give you the ability to choose. Most of the time, when I decline a request from you, it’s for a good reason. But—I may miss an opportunity for a teachable moment when I continue to make all of your decisions for you.

I will dismiss you too quickly. You might ask me 25 times to watch you twirl your dress and I’m too busy trying to cook dinner that I dismiss you when I don’t mean to. As you get older, I might fail to cherish those moments that you are coming to me…Please don’t stop coming to me. No matter what.

I will forget you can hear me. My words might fail me and I might slip up and use the wrong word without remembering that you are right there listening to me.

I’ll also forget you can see me. That man who cut me off on the freeway? I’ll forget that you are in the backseat watching me and seeing how I’ll react to the roadrage.

I won’t always be accepting up front. Like when you meet a boy that you want to bring home, or the friends who I think you shouldn’t hang out with. I will have an opinion on them, and I might forget that you are your own person who should be making your own decisions. I’m going to have a hard time with that….

There will be a day when we don’t see eye-to-eye, and you may feel like you could do this whole parenting thing better than me. As my sister so wisely put it—I can only HOPE you will be better than me. That’s my goal in life—for you to learn from my mistakes and become the best version of yourself that you can. Please always remember that I have and will always love you every day of my life. I am not always the perfect example, but you can bet I am constantly trying my damn hardest to be the BEST mother to you. I’m only human, and I will make mistakes. But I will also learn from them with the help of your constant forgiveness.

 

 

Start here. What’s in it for you?

 

As I’m on the journey of self-reflection and intention, a couple of questions continue to cross my mind.

  1.       Am I creating content worth sharing?
  2.       Is there a clear message around WHY you should follow and read?

Since I haven’t formally made my intentions clear, allow me to explain…

It is my intention to share authentic, real things with you in the hopes of inspiring you. A wife and momma first, an influencer second—my goal is to inspire and connect people from all kinds of industries, businesses, and communities.

I want give a space for creativity and collaboration. We’ve all got thoughts and ideas in our minds…Let this be our space….I’ll start the conversation, and you’re encouraged to participate in the dialogue. Your voice matters. This is the space for your voice to be heard. I want to give an outlet for other working moms and dads to promote themselves, find support and just be able to connect with other like-minded individuals.

I remember as a new working mom, I found solace in the community of other working moms via social media groups and parenting blogs. It is my hope that this becomes your place to connect and not feel so alone.

Because, let’s be honest….sometimes life puts you through some crazy things and you are left to think: “Is it just me? Am I the only one who is struggling with this? Everyone else has it all figured out.”

My friends, they don’t. No one has it all figured out, and this blog is meant to pull back the curtain to expose the realness of life as a working parent.

It occurred to me the other day that I haven’t clearly laid out my intentions of this project. Rather, what’s in it for you? So, to summarize:

  • Connection and support
  • Parenting, Professional, Relational, Emotional advice
  • Collaboration
  • Authenticity
  • Community

I do hope you’ll join and connect with me! Let’s start a conversation….

You liking the content so far? Share your thoughts below in the comments!