Mommas–hurry up and SLOW DOWN

 

We were getting out of the car the other day; Eilynn had just told me about a gold star she received at school as a result of being the “Class Leader of the Day.” I was deep in thought—and wanted to let her know how proud I was of her.

I opened the car door, and simply said- “Hey Eilynn…remember…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence, because she cut me off quickly and said, “I know, I know mom…hurry up.” My heart dropped.

“Hurry up? That’s what she thought I wanted to say to her?” In that moment, I was genuinely ashamed.

Mommas, how many times, does that simple phrase “hurry up” become the main request when speaking to our children?

“Hurry up and put on your shoes”

“Hurry up so we can get on the road”

“Hurry up, we’re going to be late for school”

“Hurry up and finish your dinner”

It was then, that I suddenly realized my daughter’s perception of me was that of a momma who is always in a rush.

Seriously—what’s the rush, mommas? Why are we in such a hurry to speed through life?

And, let’s be honest here—it’s typical. I recently aired a podcast addressing this ever-so-busy lifestyle that we have all adopted. We are in a constant state of GO-GO-GO from the moment we wake up to begin our days. We all lead prosperous lives filled with endless work, meetings, after school activities, parent-teacher conferences—the list goes on and on. It’s no wonder why most mommas complain about not having enough time in the day.

But, what message is this teaching my daughter–when she thinks that she must always hurry up?

What happens when she hurries up through her homework and doesn’t even grasp the lesson it’s supposed to teach her? What happens when she hurries through a tough decision that she needs to make and instead acts on impulse or emotion? What happens when she grows into another adult who never stops to give herself time?

I don’t know about you—but I’m tired of living a life where I’m constantly bombarded with schedules, time constraints and burnout. SLOWING down and taking time might be good for the soul.

On the podcast episode I mentioned above, I brought up my “1 hour early” strategy for slowing down and being more present on a daily basis. That’s what I’m hoping to achieve in life… more time to myself to be intentional and present…and not always hurrying up.

I want to teach my daughter that there is so much of life missed by always hurrying through it.

Mommas, let’s hurry up and slow down.

CHECK OUT THAT PODCAST EPISODE HERE. 


Mommas, what are you constantly in a rush for? Share some comments below! If you enjoyed this blog post, please share with a friend. Also– check out the podcast episode by clicking on the link above!

Be careful=be fearful?

 

Two words that sparked this topic: “Be careful!”

We got E a pink Power Wheels Jeep for her fourth birthday. She was so excited to jump in the driver’s seat and have all of the control as a driver. Zooming all around ours and our neighbor’s front yard, E was having the time of her life. We took her on an evening ride around the neighborhood, and as she drove on the sidewalk—I found myself saying “be careful!…not too fast….watch where you’re going…” the entire time.

You may not think it’s much of a big deal, but what I realized on this evening drive is that I may be subconsciously training my daughter to be fearful of the bad things that could happen in the world.

Because when I’m constantly saying, “be careful,” what E might be hearing is “be fearful.”

We have a very important job as mothers. To protect our children from harm and prepare them for a world where they can be self-sufficient. We also teach them to be productive members of society, with a strong moral compass. But, what if my fears for the worst end up doing more harm than good?

We live in a time where the news is saturated with tragic events. It breaks my heart to acknowledge that I brought my daughter into a world where safe places are never guaranteed. There is stranger danger, social media dangers, and mass murders happening often and I constantly live in fear of the unthinkable.

But, then I think about my daughter… So untainted to all of the ugliness. Pure and innocent…and oh so very fearless. Why should MY fears hold HER back from exploring a world of endless possibilities?

So, while “be careful” might seem like a harmless cautionary request—when I consider the potential it might have to E’s curiosity and tenacity—I feel a pang of guilt because I want to put her in a bubble and keep her safe her whole life.

You hear about a deep love that you’ll find when you have your first child. You hear stories of this instant, deep and pure love that you can’t ever imagine until the first few moments you are joined with your firstborn.

What you don’t hear about is the constant FEAR you will have as a mother. Fear for the uncontrollable world that we live in. Fear of the unthinkable and unimaginable. Fear of things, events and situations that you won’t be able to protect your child from. Fear of things that I am to scared to type out in words.

I want to let go of that fear. I believe that despite all of the heartbreak and tragedy, the world is really filled with happiness, hope and love if you know where to look for it…

That’s what I’ll teach E to do–look for the love in a world of hate. Look for the light in a world full of darkness. And search for positivity when the majority wants to focus on the negative. It’s a delicate balance of guidance and teaching E about the dangers the world could have, but also encourage her to be fearless in her dreams and passions.

As for me, I’ll have to follow my own teachings and embrace the uncertainty that life presents us with. It puts a whole new perspective on “living each moment to the fullest”.


What are some of YOUR fears as a momma? How do YOU overcome your own fear to let your child truly be fearless? Share your thoughts in the comments!

 

 

Do you “sleep train” a 3 year old?

We changed up our bedtime routine tonight. E will be four years old and still sleeping in our bed with us. What started out as a “cute” thing for E to climb into our bed and cuddle in the middle of the night– has turned into a full blown family sleeping situation that I haven’t had a chance to break. Until now….. ish.

Today when I picked her up from daycare, I had a plan. Take her to the local Dollar Tree and have her pick out “5 toys” that she could have on the premise of sleeping the entire night in her room. “You will get a toy every morning if you sleep in your bed all night long without any fuss, Eilynn” I told her. It’s easier to get her excited, if I am excited too. So there we were– in the middle of the Dollar Tree toy isle and E picking out all sorts of random knickknacks. The entire way home, I had to keep “quizzing” her– “Eilynn– remind me again, how do you get a toy?”–just to hear her repeat that she had to sleep in her room “all night long” as she put it.

It’s now 9:00pm and E hasn’t made a single fuss. Even as I type this out, I’m hoping I don’t jinx it.

One thing that has gotten easier as Eilynn has gotten older: reasoning with her. Having a somewhat “mature” (for her age, at least) conversation where I explain the why behind everything that we do. It’s taken a lot of patience on my part, but I will admit– it is so much easier….and even FUN at times to have full blown conversations with this tiny human who I love so much.

Speaking of love, I cannot express just how DEEP my love is for my daughter. She has taught me so much about myself, being a mother and just being a kind human being. I don’t take that for granted…. I never will.

So, for tonight– I’ll sleep comfortably on my king size bed with my husband. E will be a short earshot away from us in HER room….HER bed. Cross my fingers that this new strategy works. Wish us luck!